4. Does chocolate confer health benefits & what is its relationship to sex?

Patron: Bill Clinton

Investigators:

Professor Tim-Tam, Frederick Frog (RA)
Proposal for James Scott Scholarship on chocolate at high altitude.

Background:

Chocolate is known to stimulate the immune system via the hypothalamus. Beneficial effects have been reported in individuals health, improved sex life and lowered cardiac risk.

Studies:

We propose a suite of studies:

1. Randomised Control Trial (RCT) - double blind of course.
   General population sample enriched with special interest groups, ie. chocolate addicts, anorexics, nuns, sex addicts and pregnant mothers.
• Intervention = twice daily intravenous choc. or no risk choc. substitute.
• Outcomes = sexual activity, weight, general mood scales, cardiac outcome.
2. Adverse events monitored. eg. teeth (caries)
3. Genetic Studies
   Population-selected groups would undergo gene mapping to identify a gene for chocaholism.
4. Animal Studies
   Previous works shows strong evidence that gene will be identified and we will develop an animal model ie. knock out chocolate frog.
5. Health Policy
   Since widespread use could have enormous public health benefits and improve well being (have FUN), compliance would not be a problem therefore chocolate should be on Medicare Rebate.